I turn 49 in a few days and I having been going through “the change” for a few years now, not knowing what to expect from my body or when. This summer when I took an expressive arts course, I was thinking about the space in between, when the being involved everyday in the management of kids needs starts to wane and means there is time to do and think about other things. For me it have become a time and space to think about the important over arching ideas like spirituality, deep connections and meaning.
My studio is in an historical house that used to be part of the university and now is a community space which rents many of the rooms to student groups. Today a student who uses the house as a great study space, came in and wanted to ask how did I get here. She is in that in-between of 2nd year student not quite knowing what is next for her. We had an awesome talk. We talked about the essay she was writing and art and process and creativity and metaphors and love… and space. It was exciting and powerful and fed me.
As part of my spiritual journey I have been looking at the pagan and wiccan traditions and symbols. Lately trees are becoming even bigger part of my art. Never able to really ground or meditate well, I discovered that if I visualize myself as a tree pushing roots into the ground as I breathe, I can change my energy. I become a tree…I breathe with the trees… we connect.
A friend of mine has started moon ceremonies each month. Some of us got together to make our own hand drums. The back of my drum is colourful and “so Grace” so much of what I show to the world. The face of the drum stared at me for a long time, it was a big void and I was not sure what to put on in. It really felt like the space of nothingness I sometimes feel I am in. So I searched images and kept coming back to one I have always liked the Triple Goddess symbol. I drew it on my drum and have been looking at it for about a month. I like it because it represents the three aspects of the Goddess. The Maiden representing purity and new beginnings; the Mother who is the wellspring of life, compassion and giving; and the Crone, who is knowing and wise from a culmination of a lifetime of experience. I really like the movement in the symbol which reminds me I am a work in progress.
So back to this student. She is in the maiden stage of life, it is all new beginnings for her so many choices and learning about who she is. I am moving somewhere in-between mother and crone. I want to nurture and support growth but I am on a journey of really deep knowing and wisdom. Pretty great space to be in.