Spirals and blind spots

I believe I live my life in a spiral and that at times I circle back to something familiar but with a bigger space to see what is really happening. Old behaviours start to automatically kick in and at some point I go “AHA” I have been here and done this before. The difficulty with being on a spiral is there are no corners to peek around to see what is coming next.

There are some lessons that I just seem to have to learn again and again. Even though the spiral allows more space the next time I need to learn something, I still seem to have the same blind spots as before. Blind spots, those things I seem to always miss when I am in relationships or situations that I become so invested in that I am not seeing all the warning signs around them, that I am about to be used, hurt, disappointed or angry. I am always far angrier with myself in the long run because I have allowed myself to let down my healthy boundaries and made huge assumptions about the meaning of things. Then instead of spiraling out, I start to spiral down. I start second guessing, I become so self-critical and not able to stay present.

This time around though I have enough space and confidence ask for a life line so I am not crawling out by myself. I asked the person who knows me best to tell me what I am missing. Times before I would not be able to take that honest opinion and I would have resented that feed back. This time is different and I am able to see where to put that Scorpio passion and my trusted people have permission to call me out when I am there the next time. Something tells me I have not finished learning this lesson yet.

About livingincolourwithgrace

I am an Artist and Expressive Arts Life Coach. I create art and support others to do so for fun, self-discovery and healing. I love the beautiful and ridiculous and find it everywhere.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s