I’m sad today and thinking about Joni Mitchell’s song “Clouds”. Specifically the line “something’s lost and something’s gained in living everyday”. One of the communities I am a part of is going through pains. Issues have arisen and I don’t know everything that is going on but I know that people are being emotional hurt. It is hard to witness this. It hurts to watch people so determined to be “right”, to create “us and them”, to find someone to blame. All of this is so against the values of this community and what brought me to it.
I am as guilty as anyone trying to create a story with a villian and a hero; accusing (in my head) people of ego and self interest, trying to come up with an easy answer to our problems. I spin this stuff around in my head and wrestling with myself about what I should do.
I said “should”. Should is a swear word for me. Should destroys all creativity. Replace it with “could” it offers choice, with “want” it provides desire. What I want is to participate in a postive way to support this community to move forward. I choose to be interested in the direction people take but not invested in the outcome. I also need to know when I may need to walk away so I do not compromise my own values. We all grow, we all change and that keeps community a tricky thing to try and balance.
This weaving,Voluptuous Hills, was inspired by the the community I hold dear. As much as it is a landscape, there is movement, light, the weaving together of people, art, giving and connecting. It also falls under clouds.